As a woman with both ADHD and anxiety, learning to self-regulate my emotions has always been challenging, but the more I’ve practised certain strategies, the easier it’s become. I’ve created some self-regulation affirmation strategy cards specifically designed for women like me who may need to call on some empowering and motivating phrases when times are challenging or uncertain.
Being able to self-regulate doesn’t just happen overnight, it takes repetition and practice that builds up over time. The more we practise strategies, the more they become second nature and provide a toolbox we can call on when in need. I try to keep my life as simple as possible these days, but there are always going to be times when I need to regulate how I feel, or how I respond to a situation or event.
Because I’m from a teaching background, I base my strategies on what I’ve learned as a teacher and combine this with my own personal experience of what works for me. Obviously, we are different, so what might work for me, may not work for you. The strategies outlined in this post are based on strategy affirmation cards I designed that focus on the positive things we can say to ourselves to empower us to make good choices in times of overwhelm or anxiety.
So, let’s just right into my top self-regulation affirmation strategies.
Using movement to release energy
Movement is my top strategy for releasing excess energy but also to gain energy when needed. It can help reduce feelings of internal and external hyperactivity and also comes with a whole host of other benefits like improved fitness levels, better sleep, and relieving tension. Movement also helps us shake off feelings rather than suppressing them. It gives us the ability to focus on what we’re currently doing, and taking our minds off what might be bothering us. This doesn’t mean that we don’t deal with problems, it just helps us not ruminate on issues which can be a massive issue for the overthinking ADHD brain.
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The best way to find something that works for you, is write a list of what you like doing (or what you’re good at), and schedule these into your day. My top movement activities are:
- walking (twice a day if I can in nature as I find this calming)
- yoga (YouTube is great for this and helps with following instructions)
- online fitness videos (YouTube again and great for coordination)
- personal training online – (great for improving strength, following instructions, increasing fitness levels)
- self-defence classes (I find these excellent for improving my receptive language skills and memory)
It’s important to note that we won’t always have the motivation for things, so being consistent is essential. If we can’t muster up the energy for a long walk, doing a short walk and training our mind and body that this is what we do when overwhelmed, will help cement this strategy. We don’t have to do anything fancy, but any form of movement will help calm us overall, and in the longer term.
Using creativity to help us reduce anxiety
Overthinking can be a real issue for women with ADHD so I’ve found that when this starts to become a problem, I throw myself into something creative. When I was a teacher working in the public sector, I used to overwork to combat the anxiety but that just perpetuated the problem. Now that I am out of that system, I’m more aware of how I handle stress and put my focus into positive ways of dealing with issues. The majority of my pins on Pinterest come from dealing with one thing or another but they help me cope with whatever is going on at the time. They’re also a great way to record the information I learn which in turn helps others.
Doing something creative doesn’t have to involve anything highly advanced. It could be doing something like colouring, sketching, planting a small garden, or writing in a journal. The great thing about doing something creative is that it gives us an opportunity to get whatever is going through our minds, down onto paper or through expressing our emotions but in a physical way. It’s a good way to release some of the stuff floating around our headspace, and then let it go.
Getting outside
I can’t stress this often enough but getting out into the fresh air and sun works wonders for emotional regulation. It can provide an energy boost, helps clear the head, supports coming up with solutions to problems, and also aids our creativity. Walking around nature would have to be one of the easiest things to do that’s free and can be done at almost any fitness level. If we’re short on time, we can do 5 minutes, just like we could do an hour if w do have time. It’s versatile and effective.
If you feel that internal angst start to creep in, head outdoors. Do this again and again until it becomes a habit. It provides a great opportunity to reset and then refocus. Plus the increased levels of Vitamin D in our body help us to feel better and less depressed. Try it!!!
seeking support
While most things we can learn to handle on our own, there’s nothing more beneficial than relying on friends and family when things do get tough. I have friends that I can call on at the drop of a hat and I know they’ll be there for me. The same is in reverse. I’ll always be there for others when they need me, even the ones I haven’t spoken to for ages. My family are also a great support to me. I feel very privileged to have such wonderful people in my life. Don’t be afraid to lean on others once in a while.
and finally
It’s ok to have a day off every now and then and to have an ‘off’ day! We all have them and no one is perfect. Just try to keep your self-care as the number 1 priority when things get rough. Look after yourself first. It’s not selfish to do this, in fact, it’s essential. When we are in a good place, we are better able to help those around us. But don’t give yourself a hard time if you’re having a bad day. Accept it and get back on track when you can. If I don’t feel like doing something on my work or blog, I take a break. Often I only need a few hours and then I feel like getting started again. I sure as heck don’t give myself a hard time for it. I just do what I can but I firmly believe that just doing something small is ok. All those small things end up adding up over time which I’ve learned.
If you’re interested in purchasing the cards, there are 36 of them and they can be bought in my Etsy store @Gutidentity.
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